And I don’t know too many people that call me bitch – at least, not to my face. My edgy word of choice is ‘heffa’ – derived from heifer, basically a young female cow that hasn’t given birth yet. (Now, what has that young calfless female cow ever done to me?) Still, I want to watch that, too, and not rely on it to say what I really mean. Like Mo’nique said a while back, “”Sometimes you just need that extra …”

I grew up in a household where the grown folks would use it to other grown folks who weren’t acting too grown. Even though it was said in fun, it always had an edge to it. Which is not too different from when us gay men call each other b***es.

I feel like, for me at least, that we’re still in the center of this media storm and there’s a lot of talk about both words — whether or not there is any social use for them anymore. So I’m haven’t been sure if this talk is really going to led to change or are we building consciousness, which ain’t too bad of a goal either.

BUT when last week I walked into a Harlem barbershop on 125th street and saw a sign on the wall that read, “Use of the N word comes with a $1 fine” I was like damn maybe these N*** really mean it this time!

oh, come on * relax!* you know you want to laugh!