Non-Shock of the Week: Rockers More Likely to Die Young

I can’t wait to get my PhD people! I want to get my PhD so I can get research grants to do studies that don’t improve the human condition, but merely prove the obvious!

Here’s one such study, recently written about on Bloomberg.com, which proved that rock stars more likely to die young. OK. So, let’s see. I am going to do my own study off the top of my head, without any grant money:

Billie Holiday, Buddy Holly, Janis Joplin, Jeff Buckley, Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, Marvin Gaye, Donny Hathaway, Tupac, Biggie, the light skindedededed one from Milli Vanilli and that dude from the band with the chubby white girl in the bumble bee outfit.

YEP! Rockers sure do kick the bucket awfully young!

Where’s my hundreds of thousands in research dollars? Anyone? Anyone?

Here’s a snippet from the Bloomberg story (originally published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health) that proves what the hell we already know.

British and U.S. rock stars are two to three times more likely to die young, mainly because of drug and alcohol abuse, researchers say.

An analysis of mortality rates among 1,064 musicians lends support to the long-held impression that rock stars have below- average life expectancies, especially within the first five years of becoming famous, the scientists said. Drug and alcohol problems accounted for more than one in four of the early deaths, according to the study published today in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health.

The research represents the first statistical verification of the commonly held view that rock stars have “live fast, die young” lifestyles, the Liverpool and Manchester, England-based researchers said. The findings also underscore the negative effect stars can have as role models, they said.

Non-shock of the week. The shocker is someone got paid to prove this.

But now I am sad thinking of all these musicians I love.

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